An ElisaxJack Shipper's Summary of Jack Frost
by 1000th Ghost
Summary: My friend wanted to read my Jack Frost Rankin/Bass Christmas classic story, "Nipping", but she hadn't seen the movie. This is the synopsis I wrote for her.


**An ElisaXJack Shipper's Summary of Jack Frost**

**By: 1000****th**** Ghost**

Once upon a time, there was a groundhog who, for reasons unknown, decides to tell the story of Jack Frost. Jack lives in The Kingdom of the Winter Clouds, which is pretty much the home of a bunch of slaves controlled by Father Winter who make snow and stuff. Jack Frost (who, can I just say, is totally gorgeous and was the subject of many a fantasy when I was little XD ) is the only one who can actually go down to earth, so he's the only one who has any interaction with the humans (but not really cuz they can't see him. EXCEPT FOR HIS SHADOW. WHICH IS OVEREMPHASIZED TO THE NTH DEGREE.)

So he's down there doing winteriness, when he sees Elisa (pronounced EL-EE-SA, not EL-EYE-SA), who is like, "ZOMG I LOVE JACK FROST!" And he's like, "Like, _whoa_" and falls madly in love with her. So he goes and somehow persuades Father Winter to let him be human. But Father Winter's a dush and can't just let him be happy and has to set up this "But ONLY if you get a house, horse, bag of gold, and wife by spring" deal (which reminds me of "You'll turn back into a mermaid if the prince doesn't kiss you by the third day", not gonna lie).

Tada, now he's human, except, for some completely inconceivable reason, he's like, "I'm Jack Fro-I MEAN, JACK SNIP. The tailor." Hmm…yeah, okay, Jack, you know the girl is totally horny for Jack Frost, and you don't bother telling her that YOU'RE HIM?!?! Alright, whatev, I guess there wouldn't be a story if it was that easy.

She still likes him anyway, so she takes him home with her and he sleeps in the attic (*insert comment from Charlie* "SEX! SEX! THAT MEANS SEX!"). Oh, and his friends Snip (whose name he stole) and Holly also turn human so they can keep an eye on him, so they stay there too.

Jack's like, "M'kay, I need a house, horse, and bag of gold. Right now." and she's like, "Nope, there's an evil dictator [Kubla Kraus] who takes (literally) all the money for taxes. And the house-building-materials. And…slaughters the horses or something? Well, there's no horses, anyway." Which, of course, doesn't fit in with Jack's "get the girl" master plan, so he, Elisa, and some insignificant people go to try to stop Kubla. But fail.

Things go vaguely okay for a while (Jack assumes his "occupation" as a tailor in Elisa's house (never mind that he's probably never held a needle and thread in his life and suddenly has mad tailoring skills)), which does nothing whatsoever towards getting the house/horse/gold/wife, but apparently that doesn't matter. Then suddenly, OH, NOES!, the most stereotypical character to possibly ever exist ever appears. Sir Ravenal is…let's see, picture Raoul from Phantom of the Opera (foppish, fashion obsessed, LONG, BLOND HAIR THAT FLIPS AT THE ENDS) in a golden suit of armor. Oh, with perfect, white teeth that (literally) have that little twinkly shine. It's like something out of a lame toothpaste ad. And, guess what, Elisa falls for him. Now here's the deal with that: Elisa has been saying her whole life that she'll only settle for "A knight in golden armor…ZOMG, I LOVE JACK FROST ". Translation, since they live in this extreme, poverty stricken, everyone-makes-money-out-of-ice-because-they-have-no-real-coins town where there ARE no knights, much less golden ones: "I want Jack Frost, but, lol, I'll take a golden knight if he happens to come along. Which he won't. Btw, I love Jack Frost". But, oh, look, the knight does appear out of the gaping plot hole, so she's kinda roped into loving him because of her previous words. Oh, the irony.

Meanwhile, because Elisa is apparently the only acceptable female in town, Kubla has also decided to marry her. So he kidnaps her and takes her to his castle. Sir Ravenal and Jack both try to save her, but Jack kinda sucks at being a human, so he ends up captured while Sir Ravenal (who gets stabbed mwahahaha) saves her. Kubla has serious anger issues and decides on a total whim to destroy the town. And Jack's like, "NOOO!!! ELISA!!!" and asks Father Winter to make him a sprite again so he can make the KICKBUTTEST BLIZZARD EVER…just around Kubla's castle.

This happens for like, the entire winter, and in the meantime, Elisa has nursed Sir Ravenal back to health, and, lo and behold, they're gonna get married. Except she's like "Um…but…what about Jack Snip?" and is very angsty about it.

After this much-too-long subplot thing with Groundhog Day and six more weeks of winter and this full out song and dance, Jack is human yet again (since Father Winter had said he could be human until spring…which is only ONE FREAKIN HOUR away). He defeats Kubla (which happens so ridiculously fast ("Huh? The villain's gone? Wait, when did that happen?")), and is like, "Okay, whatev, I'll take his castle, horse, and gold because I'm (and the movie's) running out of time!"

Lalalalala…gonna be a happy ending cuz it's a kid's Christmas special, right? He's gonna get there in the nick of time and sweep Elisa away into happily ever after world, right? Um, no. He DOES get back in time, but when he asks her father for her hand in marriage, the dad's like "Lol, what? She's getting married to Sir Shiny in about thirty seconds. Which is, coincidentally, the EXACT MOMENT spring starts. Sucks to be you." JACK CRIES. And then to add insult to injury, he continues, "Btw, did you know that my daughter is COMPLETELY head over heels for Jack Frost? Yeah, I know, she's marrying this perfect nightmare, but she's gonna be lusting over Jack Frost for the rest of her life. Why am I telling you this? Why not, I'm bored, and we need something to fill up the time until the wedding. Plus, it creates awesome, heartbreaking irony. So anyway…WTH, WHERE'D HE GO??" Cuz, of course, it's spring, and Jack's become invisible.

Then Elisa comes out in her wedding gown, and Jack blows frost onto her bouquet of roses, turning them white (which is lolz symbolism because Sir Ravenal had given her a red rose as a Christmas present before…which is kinda lame, seriously, he's a knight, and all he can afford for the starving girl is a flower??...and it's like "HAHA! WHITE BEATS RED! JACK BEATS RAVENAL!" or…something of that sort). ELISA CRIES. And then says, "An old friend kissed the bride." I CRY.

CUE THE SIMULTANEOUS WATERWORKS.

So…um…everyone's miserably depressed, Merry Christmas?, the end.

I don't think I've ever seen such an eerily perfect combination of insane cuteness and profound tragedy anywhere than this ancient, little-known Christmas cartoon. But…needs a new ending? Yes, please.

**The End**


End file.
